just the other day i had a dream that i was pregnant

my little brother took his trumpet and

filled the bathtub with two inches of water

and left it there

sometimes at night i hear him crying

i wonder if it made him any happier to see

that four thousand dollar piece of shit

rusting

when i was holding his guitar i forgot

every chord i ever knew

even the power chords

i couldn.t remember which strings were which

or what the little white dots meant

or nothing

and he was shaking and i was kind of dizzy

because

here i was

numb and backwards and small and fetalfatuf39ck& awkwardly running my

little brown hands all over

where his little brown hands go

when he feels like kissing her

except/especially

now because they.re looking right at each other

and i.m looking at the wall

and wishing i had eyes in the back of my head

i came from a warm uterus /d e&&c ember never left me