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I forgot how to play guitar. Yeah everything fucking SUCKS doesn't it? This is the way summer is supposed to be. Yeah it's supposed to be like this. You don't ask &neither do I. This is why we could never be in a relationship. We don't ask. We don't ask. I want to be with you you want to be with me it wouldn't work. Cause this is the only way I can hold onto you without completely letting you go. I was just laying there. Shower off. I'm concerned about the water crisis. Just laying there. I reached for the razor------you know them. Cheap &pink, maybe purple or blue. I don't know. I just set it down over my heart. It's too dull to do any damage. But this feels good. I'm terrified. My hair is all wet &tangly. My ribs are all sticking out. Razor//reznor burn. I don't feel very sexy right now. It is now that I begin fantasizing. I am like this when the police finally find me. I am like this when the police finally find me I am like this this this the police find me No. Uh-uh. This isn't real. This isn't real because I'm only feeling like this because I haven't taken the pills in three weeks &two days. Of course I count. This is only real because this is the real me. This is me without the medicine. This is real. I need the medicine but I don't feel like getting it. I don't like looking at that stupid shit colored bottle every morning. I don't like the way that stupid green little motherfucker sits in my throat for an hour. But if it will stop this. If it will keep me from lying down in the shower like an ass then I will take it. Even if it means your mouth tastes different with it. Even if it means I start crying when I masturbate because I can't feel anything. Even if if if if. Because I need this. I am like this when the police finally find me in the tall grass thinking nothing standing in the tall grass thinking nothing I DON.T FEEL AND IT FEELS GREAT &I take one, two, skip a few [i.m not in seventh grade i.m not in seventh grade] &if I take more, more I just might have a heart attack. I've got to stop thinking like this.
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