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Heather here is a call slip for you. It says go immediately. You better go. OK. This won't take long. You better go. How are you doing today? I am fine I guess. I'm so sorry. Here. Here is a kleenex. Don't worry it will stop soon. No it won't I think. I'll run to the bathroom. Yes I will run and increase my heart rate a little. Yes it is getting louder. Here I will put my head in the sink I will let it drip. It's dripping faster. Yes I am perfectly OK with dying here. What should I write. I will write fuck you all. That is fine. F u | It is OK. Wow this is so warm. I can get up I think. Keep it in the sink. I am a virgin but they don't know that. How much longer. This is taking forever. OHMYGOD. I will use a different bathroom. Go ahead I mumble. That is fine with me. It's all over the floor it's on my shirt it's on my shoes it's running down my throat it's all over my hands and arms it's all down my neck and chest and stomach and face and in my eyes and in a puddle around my knees. It was warm a second ago but it's getting a little cold. I rub more on my fingers so they won't be cold. The sink is getting full and OH YOU POOR THING. Who is your teacher I will get your teacher. Here I will help you. Let me pinch it for you you will be all right I promise. Now who is your teacher. Guh. Guh Ippolito. I will run. No. No just go away and let me bleed. I was doing fine until you came. Oh hi Ms. Ippolito. No that is not necessary. She works fast. She pours the water on my face and hands and arms the blood is all over her but she doesn't care. Can you hear me Heather. I am going to wipe the blood off of your face so you can breathe. No. That is not necessary. She works the soap into my skin and her pretty blue eyes look into mine and her beautiful fingers scrape away the thick buildup out of my sockets. She takes off her glasses and pushes a wet paper towel onto my nose. She takes my hand in hers and tells me jokes while they go get the nurse. My hands are clean now. You're my favorite teacher Ms. Ippolito. I didn't want you to find me but I think you're swell. Yes indeed you are effing swell. The nurse comes. I am not a nurse she says. I do not know what to do. Do you get these often. Yes. I get them but not this bad. She eyes me for a second. If you know what to do why were you just sitting there with your head in the sink Heather. She didn't say it but I know that is what she is thinking. Yes she is wondering at least I hope she is. My hand is still in hers and I don't mind at all. Are you dizzy. Yes I am very dizzy but I can walk I will go back to class now. No we will call your mother. No. Do not call my mother. Your father then. No. Do not call anyone. I am perfectly OK. Here I will take you to the nurse's office and then I have to go back to class. I hope you decide to call your mother. I sit for awhile and let it clot and swallow it then quietly vomit in the big sink in the nurse's office. I will go back to class now. Well are you sure you will be alright. You lost a lot of blood. I will go back to class now. What happened why did Ms. Ippolito leave class was it for you Yes. Oh. Are you OK. Of course I am OK it's just that Oh. That really is terrible. I am sorry. Don't be. Everything will be OK. Ms. Ippolito I just wanted to say thank you. No problem I promise everything will get better. OK. Can you hold me now? But I never said it. Come on Heather let's just go. Come on we'll go to the mall. OK. I have to go home now OK bye. Mom you just don't understand I had a horrible day and I just spent thirty five dollars on you shut up SHUT UP NO I WON'T SHUT UP go take a shower you will feel better. What are you doing in there. Come out. I am just sitting here I am just sitting here I am not doing nothing I am just sitting here why can't you leave me alone. Come out and put a towel on your face or something. Rip rip rip. What are you doing. I am ripping the paper towels well why would you want to do that. Because I can I can do whatever I want what. I can't hear you could you repeat that no I didn't say nothing you must be hearing things oh jeezus did they teach you that at Stanford I GIVE UP. I will go to sleep. It is only seven thirty but it's the only thing left. Five ay em. I overslept I think I'll just lie here until something happens. Get up. OK. I don't want to do anything I wore the wrong clothes today but I have other things to worry about. I'm grounded from speaking and all I wanna do is sit and listen to Nine Inch Nails. Here Mom can you listen to this please I don't know if you will like it but I want you to hear it. OK. OK. Head like a hole black as your soul I'd rather die than give you control zzzzt why did you pop it out. I hate it. Oh OK. The headphones go on her volume goes up and yeah it's alright I guess. Are you afraid for your physical safety. No why would I be afraid of something like that unless you like that one Modest Mouse song oh. They are this one band. Come on let's go buy some shit look daddy look what I bought today I don't wanna talk about it thank you. I said I do not want to talk about it never. Nothing is a given. Nothing is a given. I hate your fucking english you know. You don't know enough. We are just sitting here. We are not doing nothing. Do you have to talk like that if I ripped up your diploma would you talk normal can you just talk in fragments for once. I would feel much better. Pig pig pig piggy piggy pig pig piggy. Piggy. Nothing can stop me now 'cause Hi Heather I am Tony and this is my boyfriend Michael. We are so happy. We feel cute. Would you like a puff of this. Sure wow. I feel dizzy. I like to just hold it he says. I like to just hold it and suck. She says she likes the smell 'cause it's like her grandpa. That is nice. We are all gay. Gay pride let's drink some more wine and forget about everything. OK. Happy birthday you little lesbian. Giggle. The big five oh. You are so cute together. Everyone is cute when I put it in my mouth. Ha I can feel my pupils dilating. Can I have some more no. No you are too young for these adult things. We are so cute though. Do not use that word. It is a tank top. That is sexist and unnecessary. I'm down in it down in it down in it. Here is a book. You should go take a nap. Every day I am getting better and better every day I am getting better and better every day I am getting better and better this is not a side effect yes it's supposed to feel worse when you kiss a boy that is perfectly normal every day I am getting better and better that's a nice picture you can put it next to Carlena's she has severe ADHD but every day she is getting better and better every day we are getting better and better why did you draw that oh why did you have to draw that I hate it that really is terrible every day I am getting better and better get out get out of bed not everything is bad. But at the same time, yeah, it really is.
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