you always say i became her
but i didn't. there's no boys on
my side of the equation
but you're a different story.
he took you to a bar and bought you
the most expensive tequila they had
and you fucked him
you fuck everybody
last night your girlfriend was giving me a ride
home and she was almost crying, so angry
just slamming her hands on the horn
in vain
because i was drunk and telling her the truth about you
while you were drunk and telling this
one chick you met in rehab the truth
about me

come on baby
i didn't write the song that broke your heart
i live in a fantasy world
where i'm not seventeen
on the verge of breaking out
i'm still just an unassuming
fourteen year old girl
on the verge of breaking down
i almost did
i was drinking drinking all the time
and kissing your neck i needed
something that didn't need me
you pretended not to notice
anything i did or said, just
fucked me when he left

just keep thinking that if we never
ever met it would have worked
that something that began when i was
sixteen and you were seventeen
it was too late
that it would have worked, that we
would still be together and planning
out our lives and sharing our cigarettes
and i would be buying you everything
it's gone, it was never there, no reason
for you to keep believing in something
that doesn't believe in you
i'm not god and you're not jesus or
mary or moses or anything like that
keep fucking other girls, boys, whatever
i hate the way you make love to me
i used to be so thin and fit and flat and brown
and now i'm fat but you're so pale and red
keep thinking that i'll eventually
learn to love it again
pragmatism not idealism, like the man from england said
keep fantasizing hopelessly about
me stopping
me turning around
grabbing your ass and your hair and shoving you up
against some bathroom wall
wanting you back, needing you back
it was all just an act, baby
i was playing hard to get, it's over
it's over, baby
roll with the punches, baby,
roll over.